Gravity
by Barbarian Librarian
Summary: What are we, but the sum of our choices?  An "all things" missing scene fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: I've wanted to do a post-"all things" fic for so long now. This is my take on what actually happened. This will be much shorter than my usual fics, but necessary regardless.**

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><p>On ne change pas<br>On attrape des airs et des poses de combat  
>On ne change pas<br>On se donne le change, on croit  
>Que l'on fait des choix<br>Mais si tu grattes la  
>Tout pres de l'apparence tremble<br>Un petit qui nous ressemble  
>On sait bien qu'il est la<br>On l'entend parfois  
>Sa rengaine insolente<br>Qui s'entete et qui repete  
>Oh ne me quitte pas<p>

-"On ne change pas", Celine Dion

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><p>Scully awoke with a start, as she did so often at night these days. Only this time, she wasn't in her bed, or even in her apartment.<p>

She knew where she was.

She felt the scratchy wool blanket across her body. She bunched it up in fistfuls, pulling it to her face and inhaling deeply the scent that was so familiar to her. She relaxed back down, feeling the slickness of the leather couch, cold on her skin. It was warm in DC this time of year, but Mulder constantly blasted the window units in his apartment to the point of frigidity.

Squinting into the semi-darkness, partially lit by the bluish-green glow of Mulder's large aquarium, she shivered involuntarily. Scully could make out the two lone beer bottles perched on the coffee table beside her, a sure sign that their conversation tonight did indeed happen – she just happened to fall asleep in the middle of it.

She closed her eyes again, this time thinking of Daniel Watterson. It was so funny how Daniel was this thing to her all those years ago. And when she got the call, she went out of some sort of obligation to the past. She realized, after today's events winding down and the dust settling, that she felt nothing for Daniel. Back when she was with him, that was impossible to her. He was her mentor, he'd meant so much to her. Only for her life to completely change course, and now he meant less than nothing.

Scully was not one for emotions; she always took comfort in rationality. But she didn't know quite how to feel. Thinking back to her conversation just a few hours ago with Mulder, her stomach began to churn. They had touched upon some heavy material, something they generally did not do.

What did it all mean?

A stupid question to ask, of course. She already knew what it all meant. They have been doing this incredibly familiar dance around this incredibly slippery slope for years now. Tonight it got much more personal then the normal volleying of innuendos, the silent acknowledgement of the sexual tension that ever burned between the two of them constantly, and the occasional embraces and chaste kisses they shared – generally prompted by some sort of traumatic or harrowing event.

Tonight delved into something else all together. Feelings. Fate. What ifs.

The conversation went unfinished of course. It was probably a good thing it stopped where it did. Scully needed to process, to decompress from the Daniel thing before she would be able to give those feelings the proper attention required. She wanted to approach her Mulder feelings with a fresh mind.

Scully stretched and sat up, finally. She was tired but too tired to sleep. Feeling the goosebumps on her arms from the cool air, she gathered the blanked up and wrapped it around her tiny frame, taking the moment to inhale the scent of Mulder again, feeling an ache of happiness in her chest.

She loved him.

The line has been blurred for years. She has known she has loved him for a very long time now. For a few years she wouldn't allow herself to contemplate the idea. Back then she was young, driven, and career-focused. She was more so focused from a woman's perspective, because the FBI was long known as the Old Boys Club, and she was just a young woman entering in to uncharted territory, the only thing giving her an ounce of credibility was her medical degree. She wanted to get ahead, or even just stay afloat. In doing that, her heart had no room for romantic feelings – for Mulder or otherwise.

She hardened even more after she was taken. Mulder was clearly worried about her health – physical and mental – after the abduction. To Scully, that translated as weakness, that Mulder didn't see her as an equal. And that made Scully's skin crawl. So she stepped up her game.

Cancer tends to put things in perspective, however, and it proved to give Scully all sorts of perspective. She finally admitted to herself what she had been hiding from him and from herself the whole time – she loved him. She loved him with an intensity that was as elating as it was frightening to Scully. She wasn't sure if she'd ever been in this deep.

Then came Emily, and Mulder temporarily got put on the back burner. Once Emily was gone, she felt like she was an open book. And it's been downhill ever since for her.

And tonight Mulder alluded to his own feelings. She so desperately wanted to finish that conversation. She knew, in her heart of hearts, they belonged together. They had this sync about them – as friends, as partners, as…. whatever. When one was out of whack, they were both out of whack. Gravity was this unseen force, driving them constantly. Driving Mulder all the way to Antarctica after Scully, the last thing she remembered is being oh-so-achingly close to kissing him after all these years.

All she wanted was to be close to him… to be surrounded by his presence. She was lonely. Their work kept their outside social lives to the level of "nonexistent". It was lonely at times. Lonely on the road, in those seedy motel rooms after spending the day in the rain, chasing after ghosts and Lord knows what else.

Mulder seemed to push her to date and have a life, but what Mulder didn't know then was there was not other place she'd rather be. Perhaps it was a case of "miserly loves company", but mostly because she just wanted to be with him and no one else.

Scully stood up then, overwhelmed with emotions and lost in thought, not noticing the light trickle of tears down her cheeks. She knew where she wanted to be, where she needed to be and while she was too tired to get into some conversation to rehash all of this, she was more than ready to sunggle in bed with him, if he would have her.

In a very un-Scullylike manner, she crept slowly across his living room, past the bathroom, and stopped, timidly lingering in the doorway of his room.

There he was. Shirtless and sleeping nearly diagonally across the bed. His muscular upper back, shoulders, and arms exposed, above the covers. She could hear the steady cadence of his breath, staying to listen to it for awhile, the sound nearly lulling her to sleep in the doorway.

She felt herself nod off and immediately snapped her eyes open, but not before she cracked her head on the woodwork in his doorway. In the darkness, it made a loud sound, sounding much worse than what it was. Silently she swore, but the damage was done.

He was awake.

"Scully?" he asked groggily, rubbing his eyes. "What's a-matter?"

Her heart swelled in her chest.

"Nothing, Mulder, I-" she said softly, suddenly shy.

"Come to bed," he said sleepily. "You look cold."

Without hesitating, she began her descent to him, knowing full well she was taking the first steps in a new direction in her life – whether there was one path that led her here or a million, the outcome the same, and it all felt right. It was time.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: This is my take on "all things". So many people write fic where Scully leaves without waking Mulder up, essentially avoiding the inevitable explanation/talk, and I just don't think that would happen. Enjoy! Thanks again for reading guys!

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><p>Everything will change<br>Nothing stays the same  
>Nobody is perfect<br>Oh, but everyone is to blame  
>All that you rely on<br>And all that you can save  
>Will leave you in the morning<br>Will find you in the day

Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out  
>Oh, you're all I taste, at night inside of my mouth<br>Oh, you run away, cause I am not what you found  
>Oh, you're in my veins, and I cannot get you out<p>

- "In My Veins", Andrew Belle

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><p>She padded softly towards him in the darkness, her stride falling just short of Mulder's side of the bed.<p>

Scully had no idea what she was doing. She was still in her jeans and t-shirt, her shoes forgotten somewhere in the living room.

Mulder sat up in his bed, turning towards Scully, scooting to the edge of the bed, both of his feet planted squarely on the ground. He reached out to her, placing a hand on either hip and tugged her gently in his direction. His hands didn't leave her hips.

She was trembling, visibly. A person's touch had never affected her in such a way ever in her life. Never with Daniel, never with Jack, never with anyone. Only Mulder could do this to her.

"Scully," he said, his gravelly voice barely above a whisper. "Are you okay?"

He was genuinely concerned. Mulder couldn't tell if she was scared or something else. Given the unfinished business that loomed above their heads like a storm cloud, it was hard to tell what was going through her mind right.

"Please Mulder," she whispered, averting her eyes for fear of judgment. "Please just hold me."

His heart melted at her request. They had alluded to their feelings in their earlier conversation, so while it didn't come as a total surprise, he was certainly taken aback at her request. Scully never indulged in that needy side that Mulder knew she had, deep down. That side was only reserved for crises and death.

This felt right, as if it were the natural order of things.

"Do you want something to wear to bed?" he asked, eying her jeans.

She shook her head quietly in response.

"Are you sure you want to sleep in jeans, Scully?"

Again, she shook her head, wordlessly.

Mulder cocked his eyebrow at her in the darkness before getting bold. His right hand departed from its spot on her hip and made its way to the button of her jeans. His face wasn't showing it, but his heart was pounding.

He looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers, green to blue in the darkness. He searched her eyes, asking for silent permission.

Scully smoothed her hand over his tousled hair in response, sliding her palm down to rest on his check.

Taking her touch as a green light, he unfastened her button, and slowly unzipped the zipper of her jeans, exposing a lacy black panty as he did so.

Mulder felt himself grow hard at the simple action. This was going to take every ounce of restraint on his part. He had to be careful. Whatever was unfolding between them was in its infancy, and Mulder wanted to preserve this and take only as far as Scully would let him. If he scared her away, if he pushed too far, it would bury them, and he'd never forgive himself.

He tugged at her jeans, and they slid down her porcelain, toned thighs. Holding onto his shoulders, she stepped out of them, and kicked them aside. She stood there for several moments, in just her panties and a t-shit, that was form fitting and exposed an inch or two of her torso.

Shocking him further, Scully stepped in between Mulder's legs and his arms immediately snaked around her waist. He rested the side of his face on her abdomen, inhaling the scent that was so very Scully that he nearly swooned.

He placed a chaste kiss on the exposed skin of her taut stomach, causing Scully to whimper audibly in response. She wasn't holding back. Scully wasn't always good with words, her emotions weren't always forthcoming, but when Mulder touched her, she could quite easily let him know just how he affected her.

Mulder scooted back into bed, taking Scully's hand and tugging her into bed. She climbed in and under the covers, completely enveloped in the smell that could only belong to Fox Mulder.

She rolled over on her left side, facing Mulder. Her chin quivered, she was overwhelmed with emotion and not sure what her next move was.

Mulder reached out to her, smoothing his left hand over her cheek.

"Scully, you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

She closed her eyes, briefly, searching for what she wanted to say. Scully waged an internal battle for several moments before finally giving up.

"Please, just hold me, Mulder."

Unable to deny her request, he pulled her to him, nearly crushing her with his embrace. He tucked her head under his chin and traced patterns lightly on her back with his fingers.

Scully sighed in his embrace and made a small attempt to scoot closer to him – she felt like she couldn't get close enough to him. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, but she knew that was too forward thinking for the moment. Her pelvis bumped against his, and she felt his hardness right exactly where she wanted it.

She moaned loudly and involuntarily.

Mulder was partially turned on, but mostly humiliated. He felt like a real heel at the moment. Scully needed him and of course he has a raging hard-on. But wait, did she just moan? Had to have been some sort of physiological response, it's only natural, right? There's no way she really wanted him, in that way… right?

"I'm sorry Scully, please just ignore it, I can't help it…" he mumbled, trailing off lamely.

Her heart pounded in her throat. Now or never, right? Honestly, when was the next time she was going to be in bed, pantsless, with Fox Mulder?

"What if I don't want to ignore it?" she whispered back, looking up at him with her best sexy, suggestive smile.

Mulder was stunned, rendered speechless, quite possibly for the first time in their partnership. He grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her upper body away from him, so he could look into her eyes.

Her eyes, like glittering sapphires, told him more than she was able to say.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered, feeling like he had zero game in the bedroom right at the moment.

She smiled, a big toothy grin. "Please."

His mouth slanted over hers without hesitation. Mulder kissed her in the exact way she'd always dreamt he would kiss her – with that same passion and tenacity that he poured into his work – their work – every day. It made her feel alive and it made her feel powerful, to be held in the highest regard by the man she has wanted for so many years.

When they broke the kiss, a fire had been ignited inside of Scully. She frantically tugged at his shirt, needing to touch his skin. Mulder got the message and sat up in bed, taking his shirt off and slinging it haphazardly across the room. He looked back down at Scully, who was looking back at him with pure lust in her eyes.

"Scully," he said breathlessly, understanding where this was now headed. "Should we talk about this?"

She bit her lip in response, and flexed her pelvis, causing it to come in direct contact with his hardness. She rocked against him frantically, moaning. Mulder groaned loudly. He wasn't strong enough to stop her. He'd wanted her too much, for too long.

He slipped her shirt over her head and discarded it on the floor. He looked back at her, lying on the bed in just her bra and panties. Mulder wondered how A led to B, which somehow led to Z.

Reaching behind her, he unfastened her bra and began devouring her neck. Scully's breath hitched in her throat at the contact of his lips to her hot skin. It was searing, it was delicious. Her neck was her hot sport, unbeknownst to Mulder, and when she began moaning, he knew he'd hit the jackpot. The noises elicited from just his touch came out in an undisciplined stream, her fingers threaded in his hair, and she began undulating against him.

He removed her bra, revealing her perfect breasts. Pausing momentarily, he looked back up at her.

"Jesus, Mulder," she mused, breathlessly.

Tossing her a crooked smile, he descended upon her breasts, taking his time with each nipple, swirling his tongue around each, alternating between sucking and nipping.

Scully felt adored by his touch, and she felt overwhelmed with emotion for him. Her emotions had been pent-up for so long, now it was finally their time.

Mulder continued his exploration of her body, his mouthing moving down her taut, toned abdomen, pausing briefly over her scar from her gunshot wound. It seemed like another lifetime ago.

Finally reaching the waist of her panties, Mulder looked back up at her, searching silently for permission. She lifted her hips in response, and he whisked them away. He moved his hand tenderly over her apex, before delving inside of her with his fingers. She was wet, beyond wet actually. The realization that she was wet for _him _made him feel unbelievably high.

She gasped at the contact, biting her lip, trying to hide the fact that she was utterly and completely turned on by anything he did. Mulder noticed, pausing his ministrations, his fingers still inside her.

He leaned up, and whispered in her ear. "Don't hold back Scully. We're crossing the line here, something I've only dreamt of doing for years. When we cross this line, we don't hold back, please… Scully if you hold back now, it will kill me. I never know what you're feeling, and I don't want to fuck this up."

She swooned at his words. He was right, of course. This was new and fragile, and any reluctance on either side would bury them completely.

Scully touched his face, bringing it to hers.

"You want to know what I'm feeling?" she murmured softly.

He nodded in response.

"Be careful what you wish for, Agent Mulder…"

His heart was in his throat. "Why?"

She smiled tenderly. "Because I love you, Mulder."

Mulder gasped, an ache of happiness filling his chest. On some level he knew, but he knew that she'd never be the first to say it – if she'd ever admit it at all.

"I love you too Scully, Jesus Christ, I love you so much," he whispered roughly, his mouth colliding now with hers, as he gave her a searing kiss.

His fingers began moving inside of her again, in rhythm with their kiss, until she had to break the kiss. She moaned his name, over and over again. His mouth descended down the plane of her stomach once again, until meeting his fingers at her apex. Before Scully could process what he was about to do, his tongue plunged inside her, savoring the musky sweet taste of her, and swirling around her clit over and over, until she began to quake.

When she came, it was exquisite. It was something Mulder had only dreamt about for years and years. He continued his ministrations, slowly tapering off the speed, riding out the waves of her orgasm.

When she came down from her orgasm, she reached immediately for his boxers, needing him inside her as soon as earthly possible.

"Please, Mulder," she pleaded, not even ashamed at this point that the man before her had reduced her to begging. And their first time, no less.

Understanding her request, and agreeing wholeheartedly, he gave into her pleading eyes and body. He slipped his boxers off and returned to her, steadying himself above her, his cock poised at her entrance, nudging her wetness.

They moaned in unison at the sensation, and Mulder sank into her, slowly, savoring the sensation of her. She was snug and wet and hot. He wasn't sure if he could ever recall someone feeling as good as Scully felt with him.

She pulled his face to hers and kissed him as he began moving slowly inside her. Her muscles clenched and undulated around him as he began to pick up the pace a little. He knew he wasn't going to last long – she felt too good, and it'd been far too long since he'd been with someone.

He felt her hands slide down to the flesh of his ass, digging deep.

"Ohhhh, right there Mulder!" she cried out.

He abandoned all technique and let Scully guide him. He was so close, but wanted her to come again, if she could.

Driving into her, he hit that same spot over and over again, until he heard her cry out and her walls pulsing around him.

"Come for me, Mulder," she whispered, as she felt his power building. It was coiled in him like a spring, and after a few more thrusts, his entire body stiffened, and he came hard, burying his forehead into her shoulder, feeling her hands smooth over his back.

"Love you," he sputtered, out of breath.

She smoothed a stray lock of hair out of his face, and he looked back down at her, his heart swelling in his chest and her tenderness. God, he loved this woman.

He made to extract himself from her, and he felt a Scully heel digging into his ass in protest.

"No, stay," she whispered.

They remained in silence, holding each other close, for several minutes, until finally Mulder broke the silence.

"Scully?" he murmured into her hair.

"Hmm?" she responded lazily.

"Not to be a total woman about this, but are we going to talk about this? This isn't just a one-time thing, in the spirit of some existential crisis that evolved from our earlier talk, right?"

Scully chuckled softly. Typical Mulder. So rugged and tough on the outside, but a total insecure softie on the inside.

"Look at me," she whispered, bringing his face to hers, smoothing over the hurt look with her hand on his cheek, "I love you. I loved you long before tonight's conversation, and nothing will stop that."

Mulder exhaled a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Okay, because I honesty wasn't sure I could handle a one-night stand, for as long as I wanted you… our partnership can't take it, and neither can I…"

She yawned then. "I'm sleepy… I want to talk about this, but I want to do this when I am wide-awake and we can devote a whole conversation to this, without you or I falling asleep."

Mulder nodded, understanding. They both needed to process this.

"Hey, I'm setting my phone alarm for before your alarm goes off. I have to get ready for work and then drop my car off to be serviced in Falls Church before we go in to talk to Skinner at seven."

He groaned at the thought. "Why do we have to have an early morning tomorrow? I just want to stay in bed with you and pretend our good buddy Walt is on vacation."

"I know," she said in response, snuggling into him. "We'll talk after work. You want to come over for dinner?"

"Okay baby," he said, loving how the term of endearment rolled off his tongue effortlessly.

"I'll try not to wake you when I get up, I know you're tried."

"I'm fading fast Scully. I love you. If I don't wake up in morning when you do, I'll see you at work. Do you need me to come get you from Falls Church?"

"I love you too. Nope, I have a rental policy, so I'll just see you at the office."

Mulder hummed in response, half out of it.

"You better bring breakfast," she whispered, before snuggling into his embrace and heading off to sleep.


End file.
